So as we wind down the old year and get ready for a new year, I have a very strong feeling that there will be changes occuring in our household. While my blog has only been up a short while, those of you following know only too well some of the issues I have been working through.
You know it is funny how things often turn out when one let's nature take it's course. While we have never officially held "the talk" that I have read so much about, there certainly is alot of both verbal and bottom communication going on around here. There is nothing about this dd situation that my man does not "get." In fact he understands it just fine and probably better than me.
Conversations are moving towards very specific questions being asked to see if I am following through with what I am being told. I posted recently about an instance where I blatantly lied. Let's just say that I decided right then and there that I would stop that behavior if I expected him to help me with certain issues. While I still often fail at not following through with what I am told, I am being truthful and know that there will be consequences should I choose to continue to ignore his advice. He is asserting his dominance more and more with the day to day routine things that I need help with. This in turn helps me to stay focused and secure in knowing he has me and will take whatever action may be necessary to get my attention.
There have been several instances in the past several weeks where I know that he knows a good sound spanking is exactly what I deserve and need. Unfortunately, as I stated, his father passed away last week and we have been busy with making arrangements. This certainly makes for an awkward situation when I really don't want to add any more stress to hubby's life. I am trying to do my best to remain supportive, but on the other hand I have so much pent up frustration with work issues, not feeling my best, a difficult Christmas season, and now the loss of our Dad, put this all together and it is a recipe for disaster for me.
Last night he came home and brought me supper. I was on a mission to get things accomplished around the house after working 12+ hours. He told me to sit down and eat while it was hot. I told him I would when I got finished. I heard him talking and was aware he was staring fairly intently at me. I asked if I could change my clothes. No. I asked if I could get a drink. No. You can have mine. I kept on with what I was doing, He said "STOP"I knew he meant business. He pointed out that I was being disrespectful and disobedient and was headed for a good long spanking. I sat down ate the wonderful meal and we enjoyed a church sermon as well as our christmas tree lights. I finally relaxed and we headed to bed. I was so very tired. He sat on the side of the bed and said, come over here. You absolutely need to be spanked. No question. I was so tired that I wanted to say no, but at the same time I knew I needed it as well. So I did as I was told and went over his knee. He started to spank, and I just thought, I don't remember this hurting this much. Not sure why, maybe because it had been a few weeks, maybe because I was tired and emotional. Let's just say spankings do not necessarily have to be long to be effectual.
His point was made, my bottom felt it, my mind and my heart were once again back in sync. I felt somewhat guilty, but I know that he knew this is exactly what I needed. Since he makes the decisions, I chose to accept what he felt I needed.
When all was said and done, he told me that we were going to be doing several maintanance sessions this weekend despite the fact we still have a funeral to attend.
I will follow his lead and take them all, Why? Because I need this. I need him. I need the connection for my world to be right once again. I am one very lucky and blessed lady to have such a wonderful man who cares for me so much to provide for my every need.