Saturday, October 22, 2016

Harsh words, Hidden anger, Silence = "Spanking and meaningful conversation."

Ok. This is me yesterday evening. Doesn't look good does it?
So..... It has been a hard week for us. Work has been great but challenging. Last night, one thing led to another and well tempers flew and I spoke my mind and even though I felt 100% certain that I was right, the manner in which I came across was disrespectful. Silence then ensued as we got through the night. I didn't want to discuss anything. I wanted to stew about what had happened. Oh sure, we kind of both joked about what happened, Sir on the lighter note, me however took it all to heart and only became more angrier as I continued to keep my thoughts inside my head. The short ride home was spent with Sir making normal conversation as I sat in total sullen silence.

We are home, I am upstairs changing for bed, ready to get into our cozy warm bed and unwind.
I suddenly hear Sir say... are you over the bed? Huh? I NEVER heard him say that and now he is acting as though of course he did. I said.. No!!! No I am not. I am tired and just want to relax.
SILENCE.  Good I thought. Just maybe he will get the message I am really P----d off and he will leave me alone. NOT. Sir comes into the bedroom and says.. I told you over the bed now. I said.. Really? You have to be kidding me.  He said.. Do I look like I am kidding? I have the means to be sure you end up over the bed so let's go now.  He "ripped" really pulled the covers back. I didn't move.
Sir walked to the corner of the room and picked up the following item.
Not another word. Well of course that was not going to stop me, until.... yep Sir started smacking me with the HOH stick, I tried to cover my butt with my hands and SMACK!!! Right on my hand. Sir said.. I would advise you to move your hands and put down your phone. Turn over right now. You need this more than you know. Reluctantly, I turned over and accepted my fate, tears were right there not because I was sorry, but because deep down I was still angry and felt he was being unfair. Sir finished up, and said that should give you something to sleep on. He got into bed. I attempted to turn away but no... Sir wrapped his arms around me and said he loved me and that I was to settle down and get some sleep. Normally when we are like this, I am to stirred up to sleep, but not last night. I slept hard but I did keep dreaming the same dream over and over again, replaying what had happened. I was still angry. Morning finally arrived. I got up and showered. I felt like I was in a really bad mood and that is never good when you still have one very long day ahead. I got out of the shower, dried off and saw Sir sitting on the bed. I came to him with the intent of at least getting off my mind what had happened and to see if we could clear the air. I am not sure what happened when I got to Sir but what I said next floored me. Sir said.. do you need something? I said yes. I need you to help me clear the air. I need a reset. Sir stared at me intently. He said.. really? You think so? After all the disrespect shown last night? Well little lady, don't you worry. I am already prepared to do just that. And out he pulls............
Yes, the dreaded leather strap. I think you are healing well enough and I am capable of making my point without injuring you further. Over the bed now.
Ok. So I am not over Sir's lap, but am over the bed as this supports me better at this time. And with that Sir started to spank. And me......

Yep, those tears were right there. I was angry, hurt, frustrated and now about to be spanked. Sir provided the first 4-5 smacks and they definitely hurt. I just soaked them in. I tried to put aside my angry thoughts and find more meaningful thoughts to focus on. I asked Sir to stop for a moment and asked if he would please talk to me. He said.. sure. Lay back down. He started to spank. He also started to talk about his side of what he felt had happened. I was strongly disagreeing in my head as he continued to spank and the swats were getting more intense. I finally lashed out what my thoughts were with the situation. Brave of me with a bare bottom and a Sir with a leather strap in his hand. But.. I told him exactly why I was upset as I cried. Sir kept spanking and adding little comments in.
Once I let it all out, and accepted the spanking.. I could hear his words of his side of the story and realized that he had a much deeper message and intent for speaking to me yesterday evening than I had realized. I missed the message because I let my assumptions and quick temper flare up and then continued to build upon those feelings through the night and into this morning. I saw my mistake for what it was whether I was right or wrong really was irrelevant. Sir still expects respects at all times regardless if we are alone or with others. Now he was going to spank because of my disrespect.
And so.... he did. And yes, it hurt and still hurts as I sit here. But.. I am calm. I am thoughtful in my response to Sir here at work. Most importantly, I know he heard me and I heard him. Now, we can move ahead.

And so..... I need to remain mindful who is the leader in our home, in our business. I may have to remind myself many times as my temper often flares and gets in the way. Sir says we are moving ahead with TTWD as it has been way too long and he will not be tolerating a sassy wife.
So there you have it ladies. I only hope I can keep things in check and continue to move ahead and be the wife he expects, desires and deserves me to be.