Hubby is not feeling his best this week, and I worked hard to just keep myself in check. Interestingly enough,
while he was not feeling his best, there were several well placed statements made that reminded me that he was watching, and keeping me in check and that he would not hesitate to make needed corrections if necessary. I found that just by him making simple statements was often enough to bring me back around
in the moment and stay on track. So it is possible, that spankings are not always necessary to achieve the
desired results, and I found comfort in finally grasping this concept. It is simply being held accountable
and my desire to respond and do what is needed in that moment that created at least a more favorable
response on my part.
Of course I would be remiss, if I did not say that after last weeks meeting of the mind, or firm hand to my bottom that left a lasting impression did not play some kind of role. There were moments this week where I felt myself moving the wrong direction but when I recalled the incident of last week, along with statements being made this week, quickly helped to put my mind and heart in their "soft places."
There was the "incident" where I ended up in the ER because my BP was out of control. I posted about this to some of you for some feedback. My final decision, was to text hubby and let him know at least what was wrong, what had occurred, how I had failed, and why, and simply stated that while we don't officially have "rules" I thought it might be a good idea for him to determine how he could best help me with this issue that
truly could end up being life threatening. Because of our work schedules, along with him not feeling well, we have not really discussed this. But he has made sure every day to ask me if I have taken my meds. I think he doubts sometimes if I am being truthful because he will say "are you sure?" You best be telling the truth. I truly am not one to lie, may omit the truth if the exact question is not asked, but I am generally truthful.
I suspect there are going to be consequences for what occurred this week once hubby is feeling better. Knowing that alone, is keeping me in check. And you know, I deserve whatever he feels is necessary to get his point across. I have mentioned in previous postings, that I have been saying "no", not staying in place, making argumentative statements during other recent spankings. This week, I have made the decision that moving forward, I will make the commitment to not say no, to willingly go over his lap when told to do so, and to not ask any questions during the process. I would say that at present, my heart is in the right place to submit.... Until.... that leather strap comes out, then..... well it is going to be hard, but I am committed to
doing as I am told. Right now my life can literally be at stake if I do not learn this lesson, both emotionally and physically. I need to follow for my own well being. I am blessed he will lead.