Another week has come and gone. I am sick of all the frequent artic cold and mounds of snow. Longing for the warm rays of sunshine, flipflops, and the smell of spring. Wishing for my heart and mind to quiet down from all of the day to day difficulties. I have so very much to be grateful for, and really nothing to complain about, and yet it is hard to remain focused on the positives when negative thoughts creep in.
It is embarrassing to admit that in this moment, I have a strong urge to act out in order to rid myself of this week's frustrations. I am irritated that I feel this way. It is so childish. Surely there are other ways of handling stress levels. Unfortunately for me, my relief will only come if hubby takes charge and does whatever is necessary to get me there.
Having said that, in a quiet moment of reflection today, I recognized that hubby needs attention as well, just in a different way of course. He has been working so hard, and has faced many challenges, frustrations and I am sure things that worry him. He is so very good about protecting me from these worries, knowing I am struggling with my own. He continues to meet my needs and displays a positive attitude.
Today, I shared with him what an awesome leader he is in all areas of our lives. That no matter what the difficulties are, failure is not an option. He has been blessed with so much talent and skills. I have no doubt we will come out on the other side stronger than we imagined. I let him know that I am with him every step of the way, even if things get even harder. I trust in his continued leadership, and I will continue to follow. I silently took time to pray for him, for us and for our situation that he will find peace and guidence with all decisions he makes. I prayed for God to soften my heart, quiet my fears and show me how to be truly submissive.
So for tonight, I am going to put my needs on hold, take time to love and honor him by meeting his mental, emotional and physical needs without asking for anything in return.
He deserves this, I owe this to him for all that he does for me. I am going to offer him my soft side, open my heart and submit to his every need without question. I am hopeful after the past several months, I will be able to be the wife he so deserves.