Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Update... 2 steps forward and 10 steps backward


 So... February has been a time in our house to work on listening and doing what has been asked with an improved attitude. What has really happened? Sad to say... I have been soundly spanked at least daily and on occasion more than once in the same day.
Yep, this is me. (wished I looked this good) either found myself over Sir's lap, bent over the bed, bent over the table, bent over the chair, bent over the kitchen sink and yes.. bent over my car. What is so unusual about this? Sir has suddenly taken off and is acting quickly and decisively with any behavior that is not to his liking. One minute things seem to be just fine, the next, I will see "the look" followed by a quick order to bring him an implement and bend over.

So I have faced the penalty for ongoing failure to comply with Sir's expectations even if I didn't necessarily realize what I was doing. Well ok.. in hindsight relooking at most situations after the fact I could see where I went wrong.


Once again, sassiness, raised voice, no response at all to Sir and his questions, oops.. ( shhhh name calling on one occasion) not being thoughtful or responsive to his requests, argumentative and just plain being stubborn and hot tempered has landed me in these situations and justifiably so.


The above Items I have been on the receiving end way too many times this month. Sir now has me get him the implement that he will use and bring it to him. I used to think that was odd when I read about that in books, not so much so now. There is a humbling and reflective attitude that comes in doing so that speaks volumes to me. One such incident I asked Sir to explain "why" he was spanking.
His answer.. " Because it is in your best interest and I will let the spanking speak for itself. When I am done I am quite certain there will be no question left in your mind what the issue was and what will be expected of you moving forward" Are we both clear on this? Well what does one say to that exactly?
So while I am certain I have many things to continue working on... it is my mouth that gets me in trouble every single time. I don't know yet when to stop speaking, stop arguing and simply do as I am told. I do find when I purposefully practice simply saying "yes sir" things go oh so much better, but I really have to work very hard at this. So rather than grasp at all the many things I am sure I need to work on.. the first is to control my responses and my conversations. Yes...this involves listening to Sir and accepting his leadership without feeling I have to add my 2 cents into every conversation.
So, I continue to struggle with watching "my tone" If any of you other ladies struggle with this same issue, I would welcome your feedback as to the things you do to stay in check and out of hot water.
As for right now, there are only two ways in our house that work. The right way which pleases Sir, and the wrong way which I tend to do most days even though I am working hard to improve here.
Despite some very heated discussions in our home this month and not to mention a very frequently heated and sore bottom, we are slowly finding our way here through TTWD. It's hard I won't lie.
Relinquishing control is very hard when you are a strong willed person like myself. I will keep trying, & I will persevere because I do want Sir to be happy and I want us to  succeed with TTWD.
And so.... Listening, communicating and accepting consequences are where we are at this time.
And on a brighter note....
 Spring is officially 4 weeks ahead. Something to look forward to after this bitterly cold and snowy winter. I don't know about you, but I, for one, am looking forward to a change in the season.
In the meantime, I will try very hard to behave and stay out of trouble. Wish me luck on that one!!









9 comments:

  1. Hi Annabelle, I am confused, I thought this was what you wanted. Have I got it wrong? A few posts ago I thought that you were wanting him to step up. I have read this post twice and it comes across as though you are not happy. I am really sorry if things aren't going how you hoped. After all these years I hope the fun side of things reappears.I don't suppose any of us can change our nature really and he must know you are sassy by now! Good luck, some of your implements look a bit fierce for me :(
    love and sympathy Jan, xx

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    1. Sorry for the confusion Jan. What I was trying to share here is just how much he has stepped up recently and I am actually surprised how frequently he perceives my disrespect whether or not it was intentional on my part. I am happy, just concerned how long it is going to take me to learn this lesson of thinking before I speak. Yes, we have the "fun" side of TTWD as well it's just in the past few weeks I have seen more of the accountability factor which is what I hoped for. I hope that makes more sense for you now. Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. Annabelle, there is always that old saying, "Be careful what you wish for." Your experience shows a bit of a "boot camp" approach. Not a bad thing at all.

    I love the little sign with the House Rules!

    Hugs From Ella

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  3. Here's what I do. I LITERALLY bite my lip and as soon as possible I scoot out of the room so I have no opportunity to respond. It's the chicken way, but it works. Sounds like you are trying so hard and really want to please him. I bet he knows that. How about you set up a nice reward between you? If you don't get a spanking for a day, then you receive something small. If you don't get a spanking for a week, then you get something bigger. Etc. Sometimes for me, it takes both the threat of a spanking and the eagerness for a specific reward. Plus...a reward is waaaay more fun!

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  4. Annabelle,

    So much to say and that is why I used email to say it. I come down each time on making my husband happy and relishing his leading. He takes such good care of me and I show him the respect he deserves. I watch what I say. I do stumble sometimes, but for the most part I do enjoy those sweet gg spankings. Keep working at showing your guy respect. Think before speaking. It does work. We are all rooting for you.
    Meredith

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  5. Annabelle,
    I have to say that this post speaks volumes with what I struggle with daily. Being respectful and answering without a tone is super hard when you are not use to it. Even though we desire to, it does not always happen. I strive to improve, but there are days the sassy part of me wins. If you find an answer let me know!

    --Baker

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  6. I'm pretty cheeky most of the time. I always struggle with stopping when I go to far! I feel really bad when I do! I know you will find your way to manage what causes those daily spankings.

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  7. Hi Annabelle, :) This lifestyle can sound like it is dreamy to live, and as though one can tie a little bow around it and it can be mostly fun and MFL for the rest of our lives. It is so much of that. It also takes work- lots of it, and it is ongoing! I can't imagine that there is a couple out there who lives a perfect ttwd life. There are those days when it is hard to keep one's mouth shut, and spankings become more disciplinary in nature. As I read this I think two things- be gentle with yourself! You are doing great! I can only speak from the way that Rob and I do things, but Rob loves my... let's call it spirited self. He doesn't love blatant disrespect. Maybe think and talk about where the line of expectation is, if you feel like it is especially hard for you? You've now had a period of time when your loving fella is stepping up and being consistent. Respectful feedback, and communication is a very important part of this too. Be kind to yourself- it's a learning curve for you both. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie



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  8. Annabelle sending you heaps of positive vibes to help you watch your tongue. It is hard at times to think before you speak but out of respect for our HOHs we soon learn to do this.
    Good luck!
    Hugs Lindy xx

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