Wednesday, March 16, 2016

To Talk or not to Talk, That is the question.

So here in our little neck of the woods, the burning question remains... Do I have "the talk" or do I "listen" and watch for the ques that Sir is definitely giving me. So as not to keep everyone here in suspense... no we have not yet held "the talk" that I thought would have occurred last weekend.
So this is how it has played out in my mind as I anxiously await the right time if there ever is really a right time. The above picture is us only most likely Sir is watching one of his favorite shows and I am sitting by also watching but also thinking.
Do we try to do it like this?
Or in my perfect world.. the set up would look more like this, but yet I recall hearing sometimes having "the talk" goes better when driving and all eyes are looking ahead. For us though, we don't get to travel very much due to our business and so I need to find a "block" of time that doesn't interfere with our routine and doesn't seem staged if you will.
And so.. we are still in a holding pattern waiting for the right time to hold "the talk"
After this past weekend, I am truly wondering if we "need" to talk as Sir has had his own entire agenda. I will tell you a quick story here. So we have all been to the Bed, Bath, & Beyond store.
Probably most of us have wandered through these kinds of stores and have thought about normal household items that could very easily become an implement of choice for our HOH. But do any of us think that the same may be true for our HOH? That they actually think these same thoughts? Well think no more. As I was pondering the selection of a new set of egyptian cotton sheets that we were there for, Sir was no where to be found. We finally found each other and selected our sheets. Sir then says.. you will never guess what I have found here that is most certainly needed in our home.
What I innocently asked? He gave a very accurate description of what sounded to be like a "paddle" aka "cutting board. And please note below the EXACT image of what he showed me.

Yes ladies.. This is what Sir found that intrigued him so much that he actually tried it out, made sure it fit his hand, felt nice and sold and I wouldn't be surprised if he swung it a time or two!! My heart just dropped. We do have a paddle that I accidentally found at work one day and it is not a favorite.
This is a picture of that cutting board and I can tell you ladies that it does not take much persuasion on Sir's part with this in his hand to quiet this lady down.
Sir then went on to give a very accurate description of how the new implement would nicely cover both cheeks of my bottom real well thereby delivering a completed message. He felt it would turn my bottom a very nice  shade of red and most likely would leave me thinking about his message for at least a few hours if not for a day or two. Gulp... Wow. All of this is being explained to me as we are heading for the check out counter for the sheets, minus his new found implement. I didn't ask any questions but it was as if he could read my mind. "Don't worry little lady.. I am capable of making my way back to this store anytime and picking up that nice little cutting board, so don't think for one moment I won't do so." Hey what does one say to that? I kept quiet for sure for most of that day.
Does this sound like to you that we really need to hold "the talk" I am thinking not so much so.
Now what in the world does the above military emblem have to do with what happened this morning one would ask? Well let me tell you all. We were scheduled to participate in a military event with our local Air Force Base today. After we showered and were preparing to dress, Sir patted the bed and said these dreaded words.. go bring me your decorated yard stick and bend over the bed. I hesitated in my mind because heck, I had just showered, we are on a time schedule and I just want to get dressed and get going. Wrong. Sir says.." I am not asking you, I am telling you to get your yard stick and bend over this bed right now. He clearly was not playing around. This was a new experience for me.
I did as I was told. Over his lap and on the bed, Sir placed the yard stick on my bottom and began to talk. This is new for him. He reminded me of the importance of today, that he was in charge and the leader and I was to follow his lead without any question, no sass no back talk or any other mischievous behavior my mind could come up with. He expected me to be the professional and competent woman he knows I can be did I understand? Yes, you bet I understand. With a yard stick laying across my bare bottom, all messages were being received loud and clear. And with that he spanked firmly and with certainty. After about 6-7 swats in, I could distinctly feel his arm in the small of my back so that I could not get up. He kept spanking and talking about his expectations. I didn't cry, I was shocked that this had happened just the way I had always imagined that it would. I was absolutely crystal clear on his expectations for the day. Every time I sat down today,I was reminded of his message. The event went off great and we had a wonderful time. We got to our own business just in time to open up when out of the blue..Sir says.. did you have a good time? Yes I did I replied.
Did the message I delivered to you this morning help you to remember what I expected?  Oh it most definitely did Sir. Good he said. Don't ever forget I have the ability to deliver a message to you anytime, anywhere by any method I so choose. Are we both clear here? We are both clear here.

And so as this day closes, this is how I see us.We may not look like others, our relationship may not look like others, but then it shouldn't. We are who we are, and we have always done what works best for us whether we have had "the talk" or not. Now I am not saying that we shouldn't still have a conversation about TTWD. I have been searching for answers that have been in front of me the entire time. While Sir says he does not do disciplinary spankings, that man definitely knows how to deliver a message that is never forgotten. He is definitely a dominant take charge kind of guy. It has been my failure to "lean in" and lack of willingness to "listen up" that has caused most of our issues. I think an important milestone has occurred on our journey today and I feel that we are in a good place to continue moving forward in a manner that works for us both.


  1. Oh..I think the two of had the talk..only it was your man and that yardstick doing the talking and you were listening....and it seems to have worked out quite nicely.
    I am not saying you should not be able to voice what you are thinking...but sometimes Yes all that is needed.
    hugs abby

  2. Annabelle,
    I agree with Abby. Your Sir had that talk..... Over the bed, with his implement!
    He knows what he is doing. That is the purchase of the talk. To ask and talk over Ttwd. He is already there and your backside knows it.

    1. Purpose not purchase
      I am on my iPad and I hate auto correct.

  3. Hi Annabelle, looks like Sir has had the talk on his own and worked out a plan of action. I would just go with the flow if I were you!
    love Jan, xx

  4. Looks like the verdict is unanimous. Sir and the yardstick did the talking, you and your backside got the message!
    Rosie xx

  5. Everyone reading your post, Annabelle, has reached that milestone in a different way. You are lucky. Your Sir seems to know what road to take.


  6. Completely agree with Abby on this...I believe you just had your "talk." Lol. And I understand where you are at. There have been times I just sit there and wonder if we are in the same page at all and then TBG does something and I realize that YES, we are in the same page just possibly on a different paragraph.