With a New Year comes the opportunity to make changes that will
improve one's relationships and lifestyles.
Every year we all hear the question..... What is your New Year's Resolution going to be? Every year.. I am unable to come up with a suitable resolution that I know I will be able to keep the entire year and so... I just don't make them anymore.
This year however, the word "commitment" kept popping into my head. And so for this year instead of trying to come up with a resolution that I know I won't keep, I am going to say for the record that I am going to be committed to learning to follow my husband's leadership. Yes I know, we always say we will do this and sometimes we do and sometimes we do not. The definition of "commitment" is:
being in the state of being dedicated to a cause, belief, or activity. There is also the understanding of responsibility, or duty.
My lesson for today..... To be committed, is a conscious decision that one must make in all instances whether you agree or do not agree. It is the willingness from the heart to give of yourself even when you don't want to, don't feel like it, or just plain disagree with what is being asked or required. This lesson can be learned the easy way.... or the hard way. When one chooses to do as they are asked, things look just like this... quiet, peaceful and loving.
When one chooses to be difficult, challenging,or disrespectful...... then one can expect consequences to occur such as.....
Now what I have a problem with is this....... I can talk the talk real well... in fact too well. Sadly, I have to admit that I do not walk the walk nearly as well as I should be doing at this point in our journey. Husband says.... "I have attitude" That makes me really angry. What does he mean by attitude exactly?
This is exactly what he means....... While I can think I am talking the part, my attitude and behavior that he see's or feels, tells him the exact opposite. I am fooling no one, least of all my sir. This is a bitter pill to swallow. One has to first take ownership of their actions before they are able to make the necessary corrections. So..... my commitment this year to myself and to "us" is to stop the childish games I can play when things are not going my way... and commit to doing things the proper way both with my mind and with my heart. And when I find myself here.....
I will have no one to blame but myself. I can submit and accept the consequences and learn my lesson or we can continue to have disharmony and dis function within our relationship. The stakes are higher this year. "We" or "I" have had a year to work on this process and determine what is wanted from this lifestyle. For me... it is accountability. It is knowing my boundaries, accepting consequences. But most importantly it is becoming the wife that my sir deserves.
So our relationship this year will center around these 3 "C's". So.... communication we know is "key."
Commitment is essential. Compromise is what will also be needed from time to time, but what I will be working on... is accepting sir's final decisions with an attitude that matches my responses.
So with these thoughts, I will close for now. I have my work cut out for me this year. This is not a resolution that I will make and fail at. It is a commitment to myself and to sir so that this time next year... we can both look back and see how far we have come. My sir is a man of his word. I will be the lady he expects and wants from me.