Goodness, when I last posted it was still spring with occasional snow flurries and now we are headed right into summer. I have a confession to make to most of you, that while I was not posting, I was still reading or maybe I had reverted back to official lurking. Trying to stay connected but yet felt disconnected all at the same time. Life for most of you has been moving ahead as it should, but for me I have had an issue that has been personal to me and it has taken me awhile to decide if I wanted to share this with all of you. At the urging of a good friend, I have decided to take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other and begin to post again if nothing else but to sort through my own thoughts and feelings and if it is helpful to one person than I am honored.
night. I got home, where he called me upstairs. Not realizing there was an issue, I went upstairs to greeted by a very unhappy husband with a paddle in his hand. I became angry actually. What right did he have to think this was a spankable issue? It was my health, my looks and I would deal with this in my own time right? Wrong. I tried talking to him first, then I became angry and defensive, stated using all kinds of explicative words. I interrupted him every time he tried to talk to me. He warned me, I kept pushing right on. I mean what was he really gong to do anyway? He called me to him several times. Each time I was defiant and refused. He quietly took my hand and puled me close to him and made me look him in the eyes. He told me I was beautiful, and that he would always love me regardless of what the issues were and that it was time that I put myself first and if I couldn't do that then he would see to it that I did even if I had to learn the lesson the hard way. Did I understand? Yes I mumbled out loud, but inside my head and my heart I was angry, so much so that I had tuned out the rest of what he was saying and when I could not answer his questions this is where I found myself.
Obedience will be crucial as we move forward. I have always cared for others and find it very hard to let others do for me. I will have good days and not good days. I will need hubby during both times and I will need to learn to accept his guidance, leadership and protection in sickness and in health,
for better or for worse just as our vows were spoken 39 years ago.
I am thankful for this man of mine who does not hesitate for one minute to take me in hand.
For in his hands, I feel safe, secure and so very loved. I am blessed beyond measure.