we are being faced with challenges regarding our TTWD journey. That is scary in and of itself.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we are changing directions, just that it doesn't feel like it has in the past.
Now it is not anyone's fault that we both sustained injuries that would take time to heal, but yet I felt resentful that we were placed in a position that we could not do TTWD as we normally have and that really made me upset. I mean now, we are able to spend all of our time together and we should just be growing by leaps and bounds right? Wrong. I am reluctant but why? I don't have the answer at the moment.
I think if we have had better communication through out our lifetime, perhaps this episode of needing to place TTWD on the back burner might not have been so difficult or challenging. Now we find ourselves off the beaten path so to speak, and as for me, struggling to find my way back to where we were. Sir is definitely trying, it is me that is failing in the process by not leaning in. What am I afraid of here exactly? I can not answer that question either at present. Perhaps things will not be the same? Yes.. I think that is my worst fear oddly enough.
And so.... I need to place my pride aside and ask Sir for his help in getting us back on track with whatever measures he deems necessary. Problem? Yes. I HATE to ask for anyone's help. I HATE to admit to failing. I dread telling Sir that I am finding it difficult to follow his leadership and most importantly, I am saddened that I can not find it within myself to submit to his leadership. I am disappointed with myself. Sir has given me his all. I on the other hand can not find the strength to pull myself off the ground, dust myself off and begin once again.
In my search for pictures for this post, I did come across the above one, and it did make me laugh.
That little devilish side of me came out. It is so me whenever I do something that I already know Sir would not approve of. So I guess, there is hope that I will come around and we will find our way back into TTWD that will make sense for us both. I am open to any feedback from any of you Ladies who may have traveled down this road or experienced similar feelings. I am looking forward to returning
to some kind of normalcy. Wish us luck.