Asking for what you need.

Seems so simple of a concept. Have a want or need? Just ask for what it is you want. Ok ... unless you are asking to be spanked. On some level it just seems so weird and even wrong but is it? I mean if you trust your man with your life, surely you can trust him with this. I mean after all, we will blog about this subject with perfect strangers, I suppose this is simple because we are not face to face and depending on how long you have been blogging we may have developed some level of a friendship. But really?.... Asking for someone to spank you to ease frustration, anger, anxiety, stress, to place you back in sync... and yes possibly because you know you deserve it, just takes some time to process and wrap your head around the idea.

So this weekend after a very tiring and frustrating week and multiple attempts and refusal on my part to acknowlege and accept my hubby's desire to spank me, I had a melt down on my own. While the first time I could not face to face ask him, when I recognized this was a true need, I did text him and told him I needed a reset spanking before I lost my mind. I was embarrassed and felt vulnerable for having done so. Once again that little voice deep down inside tried to tell me how crazy I was. Then a light clicked on. Wasn't it just a week ago when I tried to tell my hubby what he did and did not want or need to do? Wasn't his reaction to provide me with a spanking all the while telling me the choice was his? Perhaps it was my imagination, or perhaps my bottom could still feel the sting and warmth of that spanking session. Whatever it was, both my mind and heart remembered what he said.

So Sunday morning came, he asked me was I ready to be spanked? As he recalled I had a need and he was prepared to deliver. For the first time ever, my only response was a simple yes. No discussion, no trying to explain. I simply got out of bed and went over his knee as he requested. I worked at quieting all of the negative thoughts in my mind, and really went deep down inside and simply focused on the spanking at hand. I worked to stay still and just accept what I was feeling. It didn't take long to get me in a better place. When all was said and done, while feeling so much better, I sensed I wasn't quite in the spot I would need to be in to get through this week. I summoned the courage to look hubby in the eye and softly asked if I needed more later would he take care of this for me? He said of course, no problem. And you know for the first time I just accepted his response for what it was and did not question his intent. We enjoyed a quiet day at home in front of the fire, I got some much needed rest.

Later in the evening, hubby once again came to me and said, "I believe you said you needed to be spanked more?" Are you ready? Without question once again, I found myself back over his knee with a short but firm hand spanking. I told him I appreciated it, but still needed a bit more. I actually meant a bit longer. He however chose to pull out the leather strap and proceeded to provide my bottom with some intense attention. I was so close to moving into my soft spot in my heart, that a little voice inside bravely spoke up and asked for him to tell me with words what he expected this week while he spanked. He did just that. And with that.... words do matter, I finally got to my soft spot in my heart. I snuggled down surrounded by his big strong arms, enjoyed the burning feeling on my bottom, and quickly went to sleep. It was the best night's sleep I had in many weeks. I achieved this by simply asking him for what  knew I needed, and accepting what he gave without question.